With a little help from my friends

So I've been watching the Wonder Years on Netflix's instant streaming these days, usually when I am still up after feeding the girls and am glued to my milking machine.  To get an idea of how much I pump, let's just say I noticed that tonight, er, this morning (5:45 am) I started episode 100.  So that's 100 times of hearing the intro song "What would you do, if I sang outta tune"...which, let's be honest, I was getting rather tired of hearing.  But then, this morning it dawned on me; "a little help from my friends" is what's been getting me/us through these past few months!

To explain, the past 2 days have been difficult.  The girls have been extra fussy during the day and I'm doing my typical song and dance of setting unrealistic expectations for myself; feeling like I'm not doing enough, blah blah blah...things like, "I should be breastfeeding the girls", "Am I bonding equally with both Etta and Elsie?" and "Am I doing enough for their development?"...you know, along with trying to carry the weight of the world.  Top that with having the desire to bake a pumpkin and pecan pie for thanksgiving, trying to keep up with my social life and oh yeah, work on shedding that baby or "babies" belly and then realize I have 0, zilch, nada energy for any of that, I start beating myself up.  Which then spirals out of control because then I feel guilty for even feeling feeling stressed because of how blessed we are and how much worse things could be.  Like I called Pete at work yesterday when I was at the end of my rope, in tears, frustrated that I couldn't stop the girls from crying after feeding and changing them, and he tells me later that he is working on a guy's furnace who is home on bed rest and recently diagnosed with cancer.  Wow, talk about perspective.  But I am realistic in that I realize having 2 babies is a major challenge...it just makes me feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed when I take a minute to step in someone else's shoes.

Anyway, bottom line is that "with a little help from my friends" is what has gotten us through!  Friends meaning family and friends, of course.  I don't know what I would do without my mom and mother in law spending nights over here.  I am so grateful we live so close to both our families and that our parents are so devoted to helping us.  Faith has gotten me through.  Counting my blessings has gotten me through.  A little coffee every morning and a glass of wine a few times a week has gotten me through.  Talking to my friends has gotten me through.  Learning to say or even text someone "I'm too tired to talk right now, but thanks and know how much I appreciate it" has gotten me through.

I can be my own worst enemy and set so many ridiculous expectations on myself.  Motherhood has already taught me to focus on what's important and not sweat the small stuff.  It's hard for me to accept that, but getting a tad easier day by day.  And, of course, with a little help from my friends.

Blessed.

As I sit here in the dark at 3:12 AM pumping, listening to my two little angels wrapped up after their feeding grunting away and smiling in their sleep, I thought I should finally write an update on how things are going!  As sick as I am of pumping, sitting here and listening to them is just music to my ears and I can't help but to count my blessings and end up feels just overwhelmingly, well...BLESSED!

Life has been a whirlwind and on Thursday I can't believe they are going to be 3 months old!  They change daily...the past few weeks they've been totally off their "2, 6, 10" feeding schedule.  Dr. says this is normal and are probably going through a growth spurt (aren't they always until they become adults?!)  Anyway, sure, things have been exhausting and challenging...but overall, when I look back, its funny how I seem to forget the sleep deprivation and frustrating nights with crying girls and just feel so thrilled.  The girls' have given me a renewed faith.  Honestly, I was so out of touch with my faith basically since I've graduated high school...so it is so refreshing to now have daily reminders of the miracles that God is capable of providing.  I can't even believe how incredible Etta and Elsie are.  The fact that we all are here is truly a miracle.  When I'm feeling discouraged by all the icky news on tv or exhausted , I try to focus on the miracle of babies and things always start to look up :-)

About a week ago, a nurse was out giving the girls their synegis shots (a shot typically given to preemies to prevent RSV as we enter the winter months).   Etta weighed 10 lbs 2 oz and Elsie weighed 11 lbs.  They are getting so darn big!!!!  Their wrists are starting to get chub around them and their thighs...oh boy!  Tons of folds and chub on their thighs :-)  I can't kiss their chunky little cheeks enough.  I LOVE giving them baths...and they both love getting them!  And as similar looking as they are, its crazy how different they are!  Etta's expression appears more curious and whereas Elsie's appears more calm and content.  Etta typically always wakes up first and usually winds up with lots of little grunts that sound like the cowardly lion's "grrrrrruff, grrrrrufff" and Elsie tends to wake up second and goes right in to a full fledged, hearty cry.  Sometimes they can both go from 0 to 60 so quick and cry so hard its pathetic.  They sure do both have strong sets of lungs!  They are starting to wake each other up when they cry now and when they are alert and hanging out on their activity mat together they are starting to really be aware of each other...its so cute!

Things I've really been trying to do with the girls several times a week if not daily:
-Walks...I take them on walks around the neighborhood; its been fun listening to the crunchy leaves under the stroller and feel the sun we've been so lucky to have out on our faces.  Usually the girls will sleep, but they seem tickled whenever we go for a stroll.
-Reading to them...we read lots of different books but they seem to enjoy chapter books the most.  We snuggle up in the rocker in their bedroom and get lost in the words.  I've read them "Charlotte's Web" and now we are about halfway through "Little House on the Prairie"
-"Wearing them"...and by that I mean hanging out in the baby bjorn, sling or together in the Moby wrap (which is a big piece of fabric I can strap around myself and still get both the girls nestled in together)
-Document...I try and take tons of pictures (and forgive me for not posting them as often as I'd like) and write in my "mom's one line a day" journal.  Its a great way to quick write down what happened each day, which is already so neat to go back and read.

I'd love to write more but I must put my cuties back in their cribs and try and sleep myself...however, I'm going to try and blog a bit more frequently as its really a good outlet for me.  :-)

Hope you all are doing well.  Love you!
-Beck

Roller coaster of love!

It's been a while...that's because we've been devoting all of our time and love to our wonderful daughters!  Since the girls have been born I feel as though I've been on a "roller coaster of love", meaning that I just have soooo much love oozing out of me no matter what is going throughout on all the "ups and downs".  Ups=the precious moments: all the alert, wide eyed moments where I can tell the girls are taking it all in, anytime I'm kissing the girls, watching them sleep, getting pooped on (yes, this is an up as it makes me laugh profusely).  Downs=the more exhausting and tiring moments like when I can't calm them down fast enough and they won't stop crying (which surprisingly hasn't been that often, knock on wood) or when I worry too much about all the "what-ifs" which deep down I know don't get me anywhere worrying about.  That kind of worry is something many parents described to me before I had the girls that is impossible to imagine until the second you become a parent.  I was blessed with a love stronger than I had ever fathomed and it is so strong it makes me hurt sometimes! 


The girls are doing phenomenal...I thank God everyday for our little blessings.  Yesterday they had a pediatrician appointment...Etta weighed in at 7 lbs. 1 oz and measured 19.25 inches long.  Elsie weighed in at 7 lbs. 12 oz and measured 20 inches long!  Doc says he is super impressed with the girls and that we are doing a great job.  He says he can tell we are staying low key and calm and not freaking out...apparently some parents can be control freaks?  What?  No, not me...I thought to myself :-)  Truth is, having twin babies has really taught me how to be okay with rolling with the punches.  I tend to be the type A, always wanting to have a plan...and I learned when the girls were in the hospital that I had to let go of that.  I wanted a clear cut answer on what type of schedule to follow for breastfeeding, exactly how much, etc.  When the nurses were all giving me answers and the Dr. actually used the term "ad lib" feed them, I learned that I was going to have to be ok with not having it all under control.  And you know what?  It's so much more fun this way.  I LOVE BEING A MOM and I have the best partner in the world to parent with!  Pete is so wonderful.  Can't believe he is turning 30 on the 3rd of October!  Seems like I just threw him the superhero surprise 25th party!


My favorite things about our girls...well everything really, but some highlights:
-They grunt ALL the time...which sounds HILARIOUS on the monitors and we've learned don't always mean they need something...they do it in their sleep most often.
-Taking them on walks...every time their cute little hats fall down over their face they look so cute and peaceful taking in the fresh air.  
-Tummy time, especially when they are laying next to each other...they just gaze at one another and seem to connect.  Often they will grunt back and forth, almost as though they are communicating.
-Bath time...they LOVE this!  I had my first "mom of twins" moment the other day.  Etta was all done with her bath cleaned up and snuggled outside the bathroom door observing me bathing Elsie.  I had somehow managed to spill Etta's bath water ALL over the bathroom so I stripped down to just my tank top and undies.  I have two dripping wet bath towels laying on the bathroom floor. As I have soap lathered up all over Miss Elsie, I hear a car door, then my phone rings, then a knock on the door.  Crap...I look out and it's my dad!  He doesn't hear me shouting from the bathroom "can't answer the door, got a slippery baby!", so I pick Elsie up, lay her against me DRIPPING wet and catch my dad's eye through the window to say, hang on I got a slippery baby!  I can only imagine how many more times this is going to happen.  :-)
-Tandem tooting...Grandma Ellen came up with this term the other day...I love it!  They totally toot back and forth and I SWEAR it can be as loud as an adult flatulating, hehe!
-Snuggle time...enough said.  It's so special and amazing and I love when their arm hangs over my shoulder and I just smell their cute lil noggins.  
-Watching them sleep...they can be just out cold and laying peacefully or going through REM making awesome little faces.
-When their eyes are open...Elsie tends to really lock eyes with me and gazes ever so peacefully all around.  Etta tends to be moving her eyes all over, wrinkling her forehead a lot :-)
-Feeding time...they root so hard sometimes they can't even get the bottle in their mouths.  And Pete calls them "barber shop quartets" when we try and snug the burp rag under their chins so their "beards" of milk don't pool into their neck folds and settle in to leave a stinky surprise for later :-) (Even though some always manages to drip away from us!)


I'm sure I could go on forever but as for now, I gotta go feed my little piglets who are grunting away.  Love to you all.  Thanks for everything you all are doing, whether it be making us meals, visiting and helping care for the girls or thinking/praying for us.  
-Beck

It's all about the babies now!!

Many of you have asked why there hasn't been a new post on the blog lately.  Well . . . it's all about the babies now!  Since the moment Etta and Elsie arrived, Becky and Pete have been fully immersed in their care, so I, Grandma Sue, will once again attempt to capture the essence of the latest events in the Slabiak family. 

Since her last posts on the blog, Becky was discharged from Abbot-Northwestern, but the babies remained  at Children's Hospital under the awesome care of the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) staff.  Though it was very hard to go home without the girls, Becky and Pete felt grateful for the awesome care the girls were receiving at Children's.  Becky has done amazing job conquering the challenge of producing enough milk to feed two babies, though this means she spends a huge majority of her day hooked up to a hospital grade breast pump (she says she feels like a "cow" on a milking machine!!)  Pete has managed to put in a full day of work, get down to the hospital each night so that he can spend time with his girls and even help Becky keep up with the "pumping" by washing supplies, etc.  They make an amazing team!

By August 24th, the girls were gaining weight and doing so well they were able to move out of the intensive support of the NICU to the ICC (Infant Care Center).  In this unit, the girls were able to be in one room rather than two (much better for Becky and Pete).  Though she is the smaller one, Etta has led the way in getting them off IV's by persisting in pulling her IV out until staff said she no longer needed one.  Her latest feat was was to pull her feeding tube out and even though she can't quite go without that yet, it probably won't be long.  Both girls are making wonderful progress.  They are now in "cribs" rather than "isolettes" - (aka "incuabtors") are continuing to gain weight!  Elsie now weighs 5 lbs. 15 oz. and Etta is 5 lbs. 6 oz.  Though they are "identical', they have unique looks and personalities that charm and delight all who lay eyes on them. 

Over the past few days, the girls have begun making the transition to nursing and bottles.  Becky is "on call" for feeding most of the day and night, so it is getting trickier to figure out good times for visitors and time to answer emails, phone calls, etc. is limited.  Tonight Becky will sleep at the hospital so that she can be available to feed as the babies and Becky work to transition the girls off their feeding tubes and on to regular nursing and bottle feeding.  Becky and Pete love hearing from everyone, but hope all of their friends and family know that it may be a little tough to communicate over the next few weeks. 

Thank you everyone for all of the wonderful support you have given Becky and Pete!

Music for the girls!

I can't figure out how to get this playlist to be added to my blog...but here is a link to listen to songs we'll be playing for the girls!

http://www.playlist.com/bslabiak

"Where are my babies :-) ?!?!?!"

Ok, so here's just another perfect example of how fantastically well I was taken care of at the hospital.  The main nurse, Rochelle that helped Dr. Fairbanks with my c-section made a special trip at the end of her shift to come and see me during my last day at the hospital.  How excited and special she made me feel!  She is just the sweetest person with the most warm smile you could ever imagine.  I'll never forget she was one of the first people that greeted me once I got to labor and delivery via the stretcher and she just greeted me with a gorgeous smile and told me everything was going to be alright-I'll always remember that.  I also chatted her ear off after I woke up from surgery and remember most of our conversation!  When Rochelle came to visit me, we hugged, chatted about the miracles that occurred and she looked at pictures.  She told me that she had to tell me something that she doubted anyone had told me yet...first off she described that she will never forget Pete, the girls, my family and me.  She described waiting for me to show up and the entire OR team's heart is beating out of their chest in anticipation for a major emergency delivery and was expecting a very scared couple to show up.  Instead, she said she just couldn't believe how calm and cool we were and most importantly, how much we were smiling!  But the main thing she wanted me to know was that after the surgery was over, not even 10 minutes later, when I woke up, I was smiling and talkative.  She said that she wanted me to know that almost always when a patient goes under emergency anesthesia so quickly that when they come out of it they are fighting, irritable and confused.  I was quite the opposite!  Apparently, the first words out of my mouth were in a cheerful, childlike innocent sound and I said, "Where are my babies?!"  She said everyone laughed and assured me that they were right around the corner getting taken care of and that they were beautiful.  I guess then I started almost questioning where they were in like a peekaboo manner going, "Where are they?  I don't see them?  Where are my babies?"  I vaguely remember asking about where they were but will NEVER EVER forget when they wheeled the little isolete over to my bedside with both of them together.  I'm so glad that Rochelle stopped by...she said she told her husband that she had new names for their next baby and he said, "those are awesome names, but we aren't having any more babies" :-)  I remember her telling me about her 2 happy little ones when I was in recovery.  Anyway, after having a surprise, unnecessary visit from her, Dr. Fairbanks and having one of my nurses tell me, "your room will now forever be Etta and Elsie's room in my memory", I couldn't feel more blessed and like I totally was in the right place to have had my babies.  I will go back for our next baby(ies...who knows? Chances do increase once you've had multiples...hehe) when we have another, which Pete told me he wants to start trying for right away :-)  He did note that he's probably having that "marathon-like" high after the race and will evaluate how soon he wants to wait once the little pipsqueaks are home.  Just another example of how blessed we are with wonderful people in our lives.  I will be sending thank you's, pictures and continued correspondence with the entire OR and NICU delivery teams.

The woman/angel who saved our babies!

Dr. Lea "SUPERSTAR" Fairbanks!

I got to see the doctor who delivered our babies today!  She came into my room, we hugged and we chatted for about a half hour!  I just had to post this amazing woman's photo so I can share my happiness.  She is a woman of great strength, faith and smarts.  I tried to tell her everything I've been feeling and really let her know how much I valued and appreciated everything she did.  She was very modest about receiving compliments but really focused on the success of the TEAM.  I could carry on all day but I'm going to keep it short and sweet...she cried, I cried, we talked about faith, hope, love...everything.  It was amazing and I'll never forget her.  Then...she ran into my mom in the hallway as my mom was just getting here-Dr. Fairbanks made a point to stop and talk to her!  They talked for a while alone which I thought was great.  One quick detail about both of our conversations...Dr. made a point to comment on my brother Marcus.  She said she noticed him the morning I delivered and was very struck and impressed by him.  She said he was the quietest one in the room but what she observed was his amazing smile (which she said I had too, nice) and sparkle in his eye.  She shared that she has an 18 year old that just entered the naval academy 6 weeks ago and that seeing young people that just exhibit promise and a bright future is why she does what she does.  How sweet and how right she is about Marcus!!!!  Marcus told my mom that part of the reason he decided to go to the U of M was because he wanted to be around when his nieces were born and part of their lives as their Uncle.  Gosh, a remarkable guy he is.  I am so happy that I had this time with Dr. Fairbanks and she told me she was too.  How wonderful life is.